My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
