Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
