and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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