ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
please come you make the beer taste better
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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