im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
