what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
