You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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