i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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