that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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