Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
