i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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