someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
