Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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