She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
