I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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