I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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