this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
