question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize