She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
