it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i came on her dog
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
