hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
