Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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