then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
