It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
