Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize