I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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