Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
