dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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