I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
