No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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