theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
