There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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