i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
