wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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