Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
