Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
