hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the day after is always just damage control
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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