We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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