Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
