dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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