THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize