i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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