I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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