Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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