I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They have beer where we have blood.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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