I'm going to jail i love you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
