listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
