help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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