I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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