Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize