A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
