dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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