while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
