Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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