Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
