Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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