Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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