Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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