Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
