Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
