Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
