my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
