That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
