I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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