i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
