the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
