It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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