bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.