Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is