Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.