The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?