I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
