I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
